AFG: Gamache’s thoughts on mistakes

This is so reflective of Armand, the man who teaches all of his officers the four statements that lead to wisdom. Of course, he would reflect on how he came to make a mistake.

And the answer to the question, I’m sure, is “Yes.” I can’t think this morning of a specific example but I think it is a very typical and human response. We easily make assumptions and consider our interpretations of a situation or another person as accurate without holding out the possibility that we missed something.

One area where I remind myself to wait before making an assumption is email communications. I generally reply to emails pretty quickly so the temptation is to assume that a lack of response means disinterest in what I am trying to do. The usual answer, though is the person was just too dang busy with other demands to read emails.

This is such a wise comment from Gamache. I’ve found that most important assumptions I’ve made that turn out not to be true are about other people’s behavior and thoughts and usually revolve around family. I think it’s because (and I’m speaking about myself and more generally here) we tend to assume that we know our family members deeply because we’ve spent many years living with them. But oftentimes the deeper insights aren’t there because we don’t challenge our beliefs about them that they may have changed and grown. Or, that our beliefs may not be true. I’ve also been on the receiving end of this at times and wonder how did they get to that assumption about me?

I’ve been reflecting about this a lot lately given how this idea – assuming you know what other people think and feel is the truth (or people seemingly don’t care what others think or feel) – has expanded to a societal level. For me, this rigid thinking is a failure of imagination. That’s what I love about Gamache. He’s always challenging his assumptions about people, always trying to imagine how they think. In AFC, I love his exchange with Emilie in chapter 33 where he says, “People expect me to be cynical because of my job but they don’t understand…I spend my days looking into the last room in the house, the one we keep barred and hidden even from ourselves. The one with all our monsters…” He then talks about how he has to find out why killers do what they do and when he comes out from an investigation he sees the “world is suddenly more beautiful, more alive, more lovely than ever.” Emilie tells him “You like people” and he responds “I love people.”

And I’m right there with you on emails Jane. Texts and emails seem to “demand” immediate response but, but I’m learning to take it slower and not assume meaning in non-replies. I’m also learning to try and set expectations and let the person on the other end know if I’m busy and can’t answer them right away.

This is somewhat funny. The assumption that a fellow teacher and I made was requesting that our freshman English classes read The Tale of Two Cities over Easter break. We would test them and move on to the next part of the curriculum. The students had no comprehension of that book and may not have even finished reading it. So we started over with having the students read smaller sections with discussion, quizzes and visuals. One visual was me sitting at my desk knitting when they came into the classroom. That was for the chapter about Mme Defarge knitting shrouds. They assumed it was a shroud, but I told them it was not a shroud, but a record of their grades. They assumed that was something I could do because they did not understand knitting.

Like Jane I can’t think of any concrete examples from my own life although I have a funny small one about song lyrics. There are a few songs I misheard when I was a child and just assumed I had gotten the words right – committing them to memory – only to be corrected years later. My embarrassing favorite is “The ants are blowin’ in the wind.” I was absolutely convinced that these were the lyrics of the Bob Dylan song. I do wonder if we’re all in for a lot of difficulty in “assuming something and acting it is fact” in the future with AI-generated photos and video that mimics real things. Thankfully, most of AI media is somewhat easy to spot at present.