Occasionally I awaken and wish that I was a small child again. I want that sense of innocence and the expectation of a happily unfolding day. I awakened this morning with a big cold sore on my lower lip. I only ever get them when I am feeling particularly stressed and anxious. I lay away last night for hours unable to sleep. I am sad. I want to be able to stop thinking for a little while. When I was a little girl I was terribly frightened of dogs, having been bitten by one when out on a walk with my mother when I was three years old. I want someone to hold my hand and take me right up to that dog and prove that it won't bite me, and I will be ok. At this very moment “I want to be six for ever and ever.”

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More Photos From Jo-Anne Dulcie Maurits (click to enlarge)

7 Comments

  1. Oh Jo-Anne. What a perfect post to voice your thoughts and feelings, and I dare to say that your thoughts and feelings are shared by many, many people. (Although, as an aside, you always seem to find a unique and delightful way to express yourself – there’s a lesson or two that I can take away there!)

    It is a terrifying time for North Americans at the moment. I feel as you do and am full of anxiety. I believe many feel hopeless. But I also believe that hope and goodness exist and we can work together not only to support one another, but also to find our way back to peace, safety, security and comfort. Please keep showing up here, not just to share more of your lovely thoughts and memories, but also to keep abreast of our conversations that are keeping us informed and aware. Knowledge is power and with that power, we can eliminate fear.

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  2. When you mentioned wanting someone to hold your hand it reminded me so much of a passage in Winnie the Pooh when Christopher Robin comforts his fears. We all need a hand to hold when times are difficult; together we can scare the dragons away.

    “Let’s frighten the dragons,” I said to Pooh.
    “That’s right,” said Pooh to Me.
    “I’m not afraid,” I said to Pooh,
    And I held his paw and I shouted “Shoo!
    Silly old dragons!” – and off they flew.
    “I wasn’t afraid,” said Pooh, said he,
    “I’m never afraid with you.”

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  3. I’m right there with you. To voice your anxiety and fear is brave and provides comfort to many others who may not have the confidence to share or to even post. Thanks for being courageous and sharing your thoughts. I’m glad to know that there are real people here who are neither burying their heads in the sand nor screaming with anger and contempt.

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